what's the least painful way to get rid of stucco ceilings?

First thing: if the house is from before the 80s, get a sample tested for asbestos before you touch it. Cheap test, and it changes everything if it comes back positive. If it's clear, plastic the floor and walls, spray a section with warm water and a squirt of dish soap, wait 15 minutes, then scrape with a wide drywall knife. It comes off in sheets when it's wet enough. If it's been painted the water won't soak in and it turns into a nightmare, at that point I'd just cover it with thin drywall instead.