how do the rest of you use a plunger?

Right plunger first. The one with the extra rubber flap underneath is for toilets, the flat cup is for sinks and tubs. Make sure there's water covering the cup, push down gently the first time to get the air out, then do sharp up and down strokes without breaking the seal. It's the pull as much as the push that shifts it. On a sink, block the overflow hole with a wet rag, and if it's a double sink plug the other side, otherwise all the pressure escapes there.