Anyone know how to plant carrots?

Sow them straight where they're going to grow. Carrots hate being moved and transplanting gives you forked, twisted roots. Soil is the main thing - loose and stone free, dug over deep, no fresh manure (that makes them fork too). Heavy clay? Use a deep container or raised bed instead. Seeds are tiny, so sow thinly about 1cm deep and keep the soil moist until they come up, which can take 2-3 weeks. Then thin to a few cm apart. Do the thinning on a still evening and water afterwards, the smell of crushed leaves draws carrot fly. A layer of fleece over the row helps with that as well.